Keep the cup in californee

Ill admit I was rooting for the sharks to lose just so we could have company in shitteland...but the sharks pulled off a convincing win...and reading all the responses in the Boc blog...I've been persuaded like a cheap hooker on santa monica lets keep the cup in cali...with our superior weather, women, burgers and hockey teams were it belongs
watching various games in series...it appears the sharks have the ability to score and score often...thats exciting...cuz they will have to cuz as Ive alawys said there defense is overated....the only guy that seems to be able to play defense is doug murray..but he can be had...there goaltending saves there ass....but lets focus on the positives which is there skill...and they got plenty of that...

the key to beating dallas is doing the opposite of what the ducks were doing..haha...which the sharks already do...there disciplined enough to stay out of the box...they carry the puck over instead of using forechecking....they can do that cuz they understand that u need people moving in the nuetral zone to make it happen..somthing our duckies had no idea how to do...one thing I would suggest is them to take a run and send a message that they wont be bitched...other than that stay the course and they shall beat the stars...

after watching the first game Ill get a feel for what the sharks are doing and start diagramming so stay tuned for that...untill then GO CALI...GO Du.....I mean SHARKS!!

Haivyns next show

Evil triumphs over Good

only a ducks fan would make this statement perhaps but I have reasons

This weekend ended up shaking up well for me as I had 2 shows this weekend to take my mind off the fall of our beloved ducks and see the rise of the stars. I wasnt able to watch game 5 and only parts of 6.Stars deserved this series..like all year they seem to have the best gameplan for defending the ducks and where able to execute it (which is the most important) which was 3 things.

1. Be patient, not be overly aggressive, cycle, be persistant

2. Most important score on the PP. the key to beating the ducks is the PP since the ducks are prone as we all know to dumbfuckness...u start scoring on the PP and you really fuck with the ducks minds...because a. your scoring of course and b. you take away the ducks aggressivness cuz there too worried to draw calls.....

3. also there big guys came up big, turco, morrow, ribero

patience(stars) won over aggressivness(ducks) which sucks cuz the ducks on there game is more fun to watch than dallas on thiers...the stars are like the big brother who knows best and goes by the book...errr thats not fun...so with that in mind Ill root for teams like calgary and the flyers and aggressivly root against the stars, bruins of the world... so after giving the stars there respect heres a big fuck you to dallas stars...heres hoping you get bounced by someone more exciting...

Haivyn Blog: Ended up at the Hat

I do a lot of these blogs on my personal myspace...I call them journals...on a life of a wanna be rockstar...heres my story

friday april 18th

7:am victorville
As usual my son wakes me up and never lets me sleep in.. I precede to hook him up with eggo waffles and wait for the babysitter..turn on the coffee pot..(sorry wish I could say I woke up and drank beer with 2 strippers to my right and left..but nooo)

1pm east los angeles
a quick run thru of the set..hit the shower wash my nuts...and flat iron my goatee...(now sounding a little more rocker)...throw down a tall can of miller high life...the champagne of beers folks

6pm hollywood park
start driving down century blvd. realize im in a bad part of town...procede to not look anyone in the eye....when we get closer to hollywood park the streets magically get nicer looking and all the sudden everything looks modern...like someone flicked a switch...I now lower my window...we get to the parking lot into the "band load-in area" and find a spot.. over 80 bands playing that nite..lot of bands kicking it by there car throwing down beers..you see some rockabilly types..punker types, emo types...old men 80s rocker brett michaels who shouldn't be on stage types...some rappers....it was insane...lotta hotties too..we follow the crowd and precede to drink in our cars not spending big dough to drink inside (see im getting more rocker..sorta)

8pm inside hollywood park
checking out the bands...its early and as anyone knows who goes to shows..the early bands are put on early for a reason..and its showing....3 levels 9 stages...and not one band intresting..chronic tacos is up in the mix...hot boobie mamas...my antenna is up and aware...it funny cuz there are stages really close together so you see people like zombies floating around from stage to stage.

10:00 parking lot
we get in our car to load up our stuff up this big long narrow ramp that leads to the stages...there letting only one band at a time up it..its fuckin sucking big time as we have to wait....I use my jedi mind trick and get us up it somehow...either that our they found out we were on stage in 20 mins...we have to get up there unload real fast...then go back down the hill and then run back up and get on stage...yea the life of a rockstar ehh

10:40 the stage
finally we hit the stage delayed 20 mins cuz the last band...a rap group..took there time setting up and went over on there time...if u play in a band...u know how common and how motherfucken jacked this is...what this means is becuase those assholes were inconsiderate...you have to pay...as you will be rushed to get on and off...which is what happened...as our set was cut short...we had a solid performance i thought...(which is rare for me to say) we came out loud and ass kicking determind to take out our frustrations of the day and to give the crowd a change up form the el rapo musico...and u see in the picture our singer denise was in the zone...pounding her fist...(she had bruises the next day)...there could have been a little more crowd but the ones there really seemed to dig it..and we were all in the zone and feeling it...it was great

11:15 load out
we had to haul the shitte down the ramp..blah blah i think i talked enough about loading..boring...and fuckin lame...we need roadies!!

1:00am the Hat
as always after a performance..there is either an afterparty and/or late nite unhealthy gorge out on chow...we chose chow as we ate a place called "the Hat" which is famous for pastramis and there chili...I make my own little concoction where i order oinion rings and a side of chili and cheese...and proceed to dumb the chili and cheese on the oinion rings...

2:00 am east LA
zzzzzzzzzzzzz

the duck is dead

no forecheck = no victory

apparently the ducks can't chew gum and walk at the same time...they were able to stop the bleeding on the power play but could not play smart 5 on 5 hockey....thank gawd im playing a show tommmorow and wont have to watch the stupid handshake tommorow....they carried the puck acorss the blue line instead of chippin in and forechecking like they did in game 3 and they paid for it..

hail the lakers...the only reason I should even watch sports now...ill continue to comment on hockey cuz i cant help it and love it..but not with the same ethusiam of course cuz my ducks sucked there way out of the playoffs

START START..START U FUCKIN GAME!!!

see this cat...this how i feel...start..start game..start start start!!!!!!!!

Los Patos

My son hes excited too!!

Im not gonna lie..Im super juiced about todays game..how can u not be...today is the hughest game of the year for our patos (thats ducks for non-latin folks)...Im at work and I cant think of anything else...Im already considering taking half day so I can calm my ass down....we lose were done..that simple...but whats exciting is our play game 3(except the PK see previous entry) reminded me so much of Los Patos last year...that exciting forechecking ass kicking hockey..Im tickled pink that I "might" see that again arent you?

We Won sweet jesus BUT....

DUCKS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT DALLAS POWERPLAY

The ducks finally showed up for the series...there forecheck was strong..and the passion was there...and for the most part they were disciplined...I saw on many occasions of ducks walking away from shannanigans...May Day on the top line seemed to give a spark..and Getzlaf grew a pair for the first time...but alas there was still one aspect of the ducks game that still did not show up and hasn't all 3 games and it was the PK. Pronger for all his heriocs on the offensive end was a shawdow of himself on the other side especally the PK as he was victimized twice by the same type of play (not all prongers fault though, buts hes an all-star he should compensate for shitty play by his peers). Almost 3 times as the stars keep going back to the well and whomever is in charge of PK play (newell brown or dave farrish) had no answer for the play below:

The stars frequently tried this play and it worked. The key is the diagonal pass. It was being allowed to get thru over and over again. When it connected it created a 2 on 1 down-low and pronger was super slow to react both times. On the first goal he got busy bullshitting with the guy in front of jiggy and the guy to his left scored on a rebound with no one to contenst him. the 2nd time he stop grab assing was more conservative and tried to "swat" away the puck and missed...in my opinion with his long reach and vetran savy he should some how make that play but...the duck defenders at the points need to stop the pass from connecting....period

and those dallas dumbfucks need to be put on there asses to prevent rebound goals when plays do break down

the good news in games 1 and 3 our 5 on 5 play has been good...( i was too drunk to remember how game 2 went) it seems only our PK needs to be shored up. Either they should follow my suggestion or come up with some stratgey I dont give a flying fuck...but that "seems" correctable...right?...I think so....so cautitous optimisim....folks

p.s. when perry is ready take out weight for the love of gawd, he's still not making any differnce out there at all...timid passing lack of forecheck...your not a duck weight...get on puto

Wild-Avs Commentary: Hells Kitchen was boring last nite

after the ducks game..I decided to get nude and slap peanut butter on myself and celebrate...and run around the house..after that I watched the lakers...but they were dominating and coasting..(you know there coasting when D.J. Mmmmmbenga is in)....the dodgers ditto for once were also coasting (you know cuz lousy loaiza was in)//I had a choice of hells kitchen and the wild-avs game..choose the hockey game(although I flipped back n forth)...pathetic game of course...that goes for any game the wild are in..with there tired hockey..even with there 3 tier of goons it doesnt change the fact that there D is soft or most of there forwards..(although koivu mixed it up with forsberg..sorta...sweden-finnish hatred shitte)...even the game they won yesterday they looked like shitte and dont even belong in the playoffs....our good friend the boggie man of course did nothing like usual but come in and take a stupid penalty then pouted like a bitch and shot the puck down the ice...the avs will take this series as long as they dont fall asleep playing these wild bastards...

as for the peanut butter it was a bitch coming out in the shower.

p.s. most people know this but if you don't peanut butter takes out gum if your stupid enough to get it caught in your hair

Lakers Report: Best of the mutha fuckin West

We secured the top spot last night in dominate fashion...and the power ranger errrr man u all love to hate bryant has to be a shoe-in for the MVP. Things are well in Lakerville...looks like were gonna play the Denver "DUI's" in the first round a team we dominated "without" pau "never shave my lettuce" Gasol.

Dodgers Report: BUST!!

that describes Andrew (I refuse to spell it Adruw) Jones. How does a batting average of .100 sound to you folks?..Thats not a misprint. With only james loney and Either constituting the dodger offense its no wonder we suck phat donkey shlong

Death

seeing the ducks play in person has convinced me. The sky is indeed falling. the manner in which there losing tells it all. They were done before they even started the series. There a tired uninspired bunch and they play like it. the whole cliche of the hungrier team wants it more fits this series to a tee. so syanara folks the ducks have left the building. expect a sweep. I guess ill root for the caps for shits and giggles

Stay out of the box Bastards!!!

enough said

Garbage

Im writing this and the game hasnt even completed yet...Im not gonna pile on the ducks too much..cuz 5 on 5 they were fine...but fuck...there PK was acting like a virgin at an orgy...had no fuckin clue...have the stars really scored 4 PP goals? I mean fuckin really?...i went to take a piss at 3-0 and came back 4-0...what the motherfuck?....I feel like the sharks today and that sucks balls...I will watch the last period and hope to see somthing to remind me that that dough i spent on saturdays game will be worth it...

stay tuned...

the 2 things the ducks need to do today

PLAY KEEP AWAY FROM THE DOUCHE

Exhibit A: Flutter puck into trapezoid area, chase it at full speed, do not let turco-douche handle

RUN THE DOUCHE

EXHIBIT B: RUN THE TURCO-DOUCHE

Why the ducks are better than the flames and sharks

Sharks = Choke



Watching last nites games between the flames and sharks reminded me why I love our beloved ducks and gives me optimism going into tonight.

Why the ducks are better than Calgary:

Similarities: we both have the same playbook - hard forechecking - agitating - strong defense and goaltending. The flames were able to impose this on the soft little sharkies and hence got the win. (Also the reason for the most part we did well against the sharks. Cheechoo was thrown around like a rag doll). The sharks tried to push back a little (clowe was throwing some good hits) but its not there game. Watching Hanna Montana is more there game

Differences: well the flames achieve our same style of play differently and with different style players. they have a stud up front who never ever disappears and guarantees that his play will always lead to a goal and shows up every night Mr. iginla. The ducks have no forward like that teemu is as close as we got. Getzlaf shows up only half the time. Sami maybe is the only constant to show up. On d phanuef is there pronger...dion was a monster out there..And like Scotty n. will always show up and always make some play that will make a difference. We have 3 guys though like that. The hugest difference is of course in goal. We should thank the stars we have jiggy, as both San Jose goals were results of shitte goaltending. Mikka is a highlight reel, wants to be on sportscenter guy. On the first goal mikka was super over aggressive and overplayed the shooter...who went around behind the net and passed to clowe in the middle of the ice who had an open net. Jiggy would never make a dumbshit play like that. On the second clowe goal gave up a bad rebound and was shaky and in no position to stop clowe. The first shot on jiggy would have probably stuck to him and even if it didn’t he wouldn’t have overreacted and stood tall and stop that motherfucker.

Why the ducks are better than San Jose

Similarities: both have big forwards and the goaltenders play a solid game...that’s about it.

differences: let me count the ways, the sharks soft forwards are not made for playoff hockey and it showed, they rely on solely there talent which works sometimes but is bound to go down in flames(no pun intended) when the playoffs get nasty. No dirty goals for the sharks all just shitte goaltending on mikkas part. The flames did the right thing and stood out of the box(u listening Anaheim?) so the sharks couldn’t get by on there talent on the PP. Ducks would have ran Mikka forechecked hard.

So sit back and open a bottle of jack and be happy with your team..

the Stars get pumped for what?

Spade's Thoughts heading into Game 1 Ducks-Stars

GORILLA HEAD NOUGH SAID

Im stealing this from Adam brady, but the news that Carter was skating on the 2nd line with bobby ryan and bertuzzi (same as final game against phoenix except it was Kunitz not Tuzzi) is not surprising and I think wise. RC seems to really trust and like what Carter brings. Mr. Sleek from Boc disagrees with me but his high face-off win percentage I think really gives Rc a hard-on and his strong defensive play. Also he can score (see the devils-ducks game). Proof I think also is the fact his jersy is now 20. Any duck fan knows thats Rc's way of saying "kid you made it". I like this combo a whole hell of lot better than a marchant-weight style combo for the second line. Im envisioning and I think RC is that maybe they will catch fire and be like our 2nd line last year ("PPG line" Penner-Perry-Getz). And why not you got Tuzzi(penner) and Carter(Getz) banging and Bobby(Perry) doing the scoring. We shall see But I like RC's thinking so far if it indeeds happens like this.





p.s. I shall be at the ducks game on Saturday. Look for Spade and his drunk brother up in the nose bleeds..Ill be sporting my extra long goat that looks like vagina hair wearing my selanne shirt.

spade

Art contribution: Mars Volta

This image I drew at lunch break today 4/9/08 is taken from a promo cardfor the newest Mars Volta release "Bedlam in Goliath" Album released Jan29th 2008, if you were lucky enough to get one these promo postcardsfree in your local record store it featured more of that awesome artworkby Artist Jeff Jordon, one of the best American painters. I added myselfinto the artwork, you can call it a self portrait?????They label themselves as Progressive rock, experimental rock,neo-psychedelia, art rock.( my favorite genre would be ART ROCK, which you sum thins up for allthe work I do then writing music ,. Because all creations to me whetherit be drawings painting or writing music is all ART! )

by,

nojesusformankind

Spade tip of the week

Question: How do you grow your johnson naturally?

Answer: Date a woman with small hands!!

Stay tuned next week for another "tip of the week"

Spade

Lakers Report

no caption needed

that face explains there play last nite against portland...the d feel asleep...took too many quick shots..and just plain sucked balls..

Dodgers Report

Suck Dick enough said.

Same ole lack of offense. Same ole shitty back of the rotation pitching.

Thank gawd for the Lakers and Ducks!!

dreadful 2 games against the d'backs...expect a long boring season folks.

Spades Band Haivyn Plays Pangea Music festival

Music Report: its offical morrison is god!!

why not he kinda looks like jesus?